AN: I won’t lie, this one’s a toughy. Writing Bill….well, no words…really, that’s what I’d prefer…no words. Alas, I’m stuck with certain characters in this remake of the end of season 7. Forgive me for the Bill stuff, and do let me know what you think. As always, thanks for reading!
End of Chapter 2
“Bill, I’m fine. I really wish you wouldn’t worry about me. You’re the one who needs looked after. Now what can I do for you? Can I bring something…some blood? Are you hungry?”
“No, Sookie. I’d rather not eat. I have no interest in prolonging my death”, Bill said.
She felt gutted. Why couldn’t he take the cure? Why was he so determined to die? Did he not understand what this was doing to her. Tears filled her eyes as she said “I understand. Why don’t I come over and keep you company.”
A smile broke on Bill’s face as he said, “That would be lovely. What would I do without you, Sookie?”
Sookie made her way to Bill’s and she was filled with dread. What was she going to do? She had never expected that she’d be so tied to Bill again. She slowed her gait until she stopped at the edge of his property. Looking up into the sky, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She let it out and took another….and another. The fresh air helped to clear her head. She desperately needed to see things for what they were. She wanted to see him for what he was.
Despite all of the horrible things he did to her – the lies, the deceit – he still held a place in her heart, but in the clarity of the moment, she knew the truth. It was the blood. It clung to her and refused to let go. It was like a snake that slithered throughout her blood and coiled around her heart, and whenever she seemed ready to let go, it squeezed just enough to bring her back to him.
Standing under the black sky, her thoughts were unclouded. She felt a twinge of freedom and just that little bit felt amazing. She could only imagine what it would feel like to be completely free and it made her dream. She stood stock-still on the perimeter of Bill’s property and she let herself go. She thought of a world where her thoughts and her desires were her own. She craved the ability to walk in the direction that promised a bright future. She thought of her friends….Lafayette, Sam…Tara. Oh, Tara. She had not properly grieved for her best friend and she cried inside. She thought of Jason and how he’d turned his life around. She thought of how much she loved him. And then there was Alcide. Looking back under the clarity of the surrounding silence, her heart broke for him. She loved him, but not how he had deserved to be loved. She could never really give all of herself to him and, in retrospect, she knew it was because there was a part of her that would always belong to someone else. “Eric”, she whispered. At that last thought, she felt her dream begin to fade. She was desperate to hold onto the feeling, but the harder she pressed, the more it slipped through her fingers. A minute later, it was gone. All of it – hope, love, friendship. Now all that filled her heart was a darkness…..a darkness that propelled her forward towards the first man she had ever loved.
She made motion to knock, but Bill answered before her knuckles hit the door. Startled, she stepped back, but Bill caught her elbow and pulled her towards him for an embrace.
“Sookie darlin’, I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t tell you how much it comforts me to know I can count on you to help me see this through til the end. I don’t think I could bear it without you. You are my miracle, Sookie, and it’s your face I hope to see when my end comes.”
He held her close planting a soft kiss to the side of her head. It was all Sookie could do to not fall apart. She wanted to cry — cry for Bill, but also for herself. She didn’t want to do this; she didn’t want to watch him die. She felt anger towards him for putting her in this situation, yet, she couldn’t bring herself to walk away.
“I’m happy my being here makes you happy, Bill. I’d rather not talk about you dying, though.” Sookie left his embrace and continued her walk towards the living room. She sat on the couch and Bill followed, sitting so close that their thighs touched.
Feeling uncomfortable by their closeness, she decided to ignore it and pepper him with questions, “So Bill, how are you really feeling? Are you feeling any weakness? Has it spread much?”
“I’m feeling tired, Sookie. Tired of living. Tired of waiting. The only thing that eases my pain is you, and I’m so thankful to have you, Sweetheart.” His fingers laced between hers as he took her hand and held it to his chest. Turning towards her, he said, “Sookie, I know this is difficult for you, but I need you. I’m not long for this life and there’s nothing I want more than to spend what little time I have left with you. I’ve loved you more than I loved anyone else, Sookie. I know I’ve hurt you, but let me make amends in what little time I have left. We could spend these last few weeks together, as I always envisioned. I would die a grateful man. Can you do this for me, darlin’?”
Sookie didn’t know what to say. These were not the words she wanted to hear. She wanted to say no. She wanted to tell him to go to hell. He was choosing this for himself and she didn’t want to be dragged down with him….but, the guilt. It ate her up and every time she felt like she had the strength to walk away and leave him to his choice, her chest would be weighted down.
Bill could see her struggling with her thoughts. He couldn’t lose, not now. He was determined that she would be there at the end with him and maybe, just maybe he could convince her to join him in death. They would be together forever. She would be his forever. The thought gave him chills. Seeing Sookie struggle over his words, he focused on his blood. He could speak to her with his blood. The Hep V made him weaker, but he could still muster enough strength to influence her. She was a sweet, naïve, guilt-ridden little thing. He could thank her upbringing for that. Always thinking the best of people even though they didn’t respond in kind. Yes, his sweet, little Southern Belle – she’d be his if it was the last thing he did in the time he had left.
Sookie felt her resolve break and all she could do was tighten the grip on his hand and shake her head ‘yes’. She stood up and dragged him along and said “Come on. Let’s go for a walk.” Bill happily followed.
Eric walked around admiring his work. Fangtasia was looking more and more like its usual self, except it was empty. He sat down at the bar and reminisced about how much things had changed. It was all so quiet now. He spun on the stool and that was the only sound that permeated the building. He wouldn’t be caught up melancholy. No, he would rebuild. He had no clue what it would look like or how he’d do it, but he always found a way to survive and he’d do it again.
As he continued spinning, a soft knocking broke through the noise of the stool. The knocking grew louder as he stopped spinning. Curious and leery, he approached the door. He paused for a moment as he listened. He could tell that it was a human on the other side. Hearing only one heartbeat, he cautiously opened the door. “Hmmm….Jason Stackhouse. To what do I this surprise? Thinking of me, perhaps?”
Jason bristled at Eric’s comments. He’d been having some very erotic dreams since the night Eric saved him. He had hoped that they would eventually stop since so much time had passed. They did begin to decrease in frequency, but every now and then one would creep up. And looking at Eric, alive and in person, he couldn’t deny that he was a ‘handsome motherfucker’ . Shit, that pissed him off.
“Hey, now….that’ll be enough of that, if you please.”
“Why are you here, Jason?”
“I’m here to talk to you about Sookie.” Eric turned to walk away. “Go home, Jason.”
“Now wait a minute! Sookie’s in trouble. She don’t know it yet, but she is and I need your help. She needs your help.”
“Jason, Sookie and I have said our goodbyes. I don’t think she’s interested in anything from me.”
“Eric, now I know you two have had some trouble, but I know you care about her. I’ve seen your face when she’s anywhere near. Don’t deny it.”
Eric stared straight ahead looking right through Jason. He had finally made his peace with Sookie and he didn’t know if he wanted to get involved again. With an unneeded breath, Eric ran his fingers through his hair. “What’s her trouble, Jason?”
“Bill’s her trouble, man. He’s dragging her down. We’ve got to do something about it! He’s killing her and I can’t let it happen. So either you’re helping me, or I’ll do it myself!”
“Jason, I’ve never been able to get between her and Bill. You know this. At this point, I don’t believe she’d hear what I had to say. There is so much of his blood flowing through her that it would interfere with anything any of us try to do.”
“Nope, I ain’t gonna stop trying. And you know damn well you got between them once.” Eric’s furrowed brows spoke the unasked question. “Surprised? She told me all about it. Think what you want, but she loves you. I heard about what happened when you came back. The way she looked at you. The way you held her. Friends…pfft!. So….you love her. And she loves you. The question is…what you gonna do about it?”